Finding Joy in the Struggle

Do you feel like you struggle with finding joy in life during difficult times? You’re in the middle of these experiences that are supposed to be these beautiful Instagram moments, but your anxiety levels ramp up.

Friend, this is for you if you are in the thick of stress from a house project you want to take on, a family vacation you want to plan, or the personal style you are trying to build. Remind yourself that it takes extra effort to get what you want the most. It’s worth enjoying the process.

This topic came to mind because my life over the past few months has been on a high. A quick recap of what’s happened. My boyfriend asked me to marry him on our big European trip in April. In May, we moved into a house and combined our families. We each had a little girl. In June, we started planning our wedding. I hired a social media manager and assistant to the team. From June until now, our family has been sick on and off. No joke.

That’s a lot of goodness, but it’s been a mix of stress, gratitude, love, and growth, all jumbled together. Of course, I want all these beautiful things, but there is an extra effort I’ve had to put in. My fiance and I learned to compromise, move our schedules around, and put time into working with my team.

In the following weeks, I was annoyed, saw all the little things wrong with everything, and I stopped myself. I didn’t even recognize the grumpy, negative person because it’s not who I am. When I had time to journal, it made me laugh that I have everything I want, and this is how I’m reacting to it. I had to go back to getting centered and asking, how am I creating this problem, how can I see things differently, react differently, and have more peace. 

I sat and wrote down how I can find joy in my life today with what I have. My list included sleeping more, working out again 3-4 days a week, going for a walk on the beach, planning one play date a month with a girlfriend and her baby, and when things come up out of my control, just to let it go.

This principle can also be applied if you’re in the middle of refreshing your wardrobe and doing online shopping. I love to share real-life scenarios outside of style first because it puts it into perspective when it comes to bringing together your wardrobe or updating your style. 

It’s a process worth the time and effort you put into it. I promise! When updating your look, you must go through the trial and error of buying and returning pieces. You never know what will work for you until you try the clothing at home. Seeing it on a computer screen with a model that looks completely different from you isn’t a good way to decipher the fit.

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When shopping online, you have the comfort of trying on clothing at home, where you can make an excellent informative decision about what to keep or return. You have to imagine your home as a fitting room. There will be a lot of pieces you bring in that might not work, and that’s ok.

Take time to write down what you find in a journal, or you can purchase The Style Tracker. I can’t stress enough how this will significantly impact how you shop. You’ll become more aware of what fits well, what to continue gravitating towards, and what to avoid next time you shop. Writing all this stuff down is simple and easy to skip, but this helps you be more aware of all the parts that go into your style.

Suppose you are in the middle of refreshing your wardrobe and finding little success in the online shopping world. I want to remind you that there is joy in this. You buy new pieces because you know what’s in your closet doesn’t fit well. It doesn’t provide this confident, put-together person you are. 

I want you to write down why updating your style is essential to you. Then, take a pause and think about how you can find joy as you shop online. What three things can you do to make the experience more joyful for you? This can keep in context how your work will change your life.

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Here are a few examples of how to make this more joyful.

  • Have your best friend shop with you
  • Treat yourself to a nice dinner afterward with a glass of wine 
  • Imagine how you would look and feel in clothing you love and fits well
  • Find two new ways to wear your new piece of clothing, so you feel confident with your purchase
  • Organize bins in your closet with returns, so the clothing and bags aren’t always in sight

 Take time and write out what it is that would be helpful. Maybe even reading this is helpful because you get constant reminders that you are on the right path. Building your style is fun; all the pieces you begin to accumulate will match together and match your life.

You have to make the experience you are living through more joyful. You have to pause and remind yourself why this is important to you. Be intentional with what you can do differently in a moment of struggle to come out of it more joyfully. This doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings of struggle, you need to feel through that as well. Finding joy takes work. Not with a new house, new engagement, new job, new baby, not even a whole new wardrobe. Remind yourself of your vision, making the adjustment and change more manageable.

Share in the comments what you’ll do to bring more joy into how you shop. What will make the process easier for you?

Looking for more styling tips? Be sure to follow me on Instagram @thecloset.edit and TikTok @theclosetedit!

tannya bernadette
Founder of TCE Tannya Bernadette

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