No One’s Watching

Have you felt self-conscious about your body? Like everyone can see all of your insecurities? It’s totally common, and as a stylist, I often remind my clients that no one’s watching their perceived flaws. The little things we get caught up in our bodies are things people don’t even notice.

I recently worked with a couple that realized they needed new clothes. They were getting ready to pack for their 10th-anniversary trip and found that their closet didn’t have anything new or exciting that fit them anymore. While shopping for each of them, they opened up about what they felt uncomfortable with. We picked some great pieces for each of them to try on. They both lit up with excitement when they saw each other in clothes that were modern, new, and fit well. Although the couple had insecurities going into this shopping session, they only saw positives when they saw each other in new outfits they felt confident in.

I loved working with this couple because not only were they a blast to work with, but there were so many important topics we discussed. Here are three big topics that came up during our shopping session:

1. Men’s Insecurities With Their Bodies

If you think most of my clients are women, think again. I actually have a lot of men clients. Most of them contact me when they feel insecure about their bodies. They have trouble finding clothes that aren’t just functional but fit well and make them feel more confident and sexy (yes, they use the word ‘sexy’). But, this is an important topic. It’s never really talked about, a lot of the focus is on women, but men have insecurities too. They are less vocal about it but working with men, I hear everything and have to find pieces that fit their bodies well.

Now back to the couple. The husband knew he didn’t want to wear baggy clothes anymore, but he also didn’t want to draw attention to his tummy. We gave him a red polo from J. Crew to try on and some layering pieces. When he came out of the dressing room, his wife’s face lit up. He not only looked great in these colorful pieces, but his wife’s positive reaction was starting to encourage him.

He also didn’t want to show his legs because, growing up, his family made fun of them. Although he didn’t buy them, he did try on a pair of shorts. He was becoming confident in wearing shorts for the first time since childhood, and I assured him no one’s looking at his legs. They’re looking at someone satisfied in their new wardrobe.

2. What We Might Find Uncomfortable Might Actually Be An Asset

Think about the parts that you’re uncomfortable with. It’s time to change that story. Instead of repeating the exact negative words, positively talk to yourself. Bring a different story to the parts that make you feel uncomfortable. Changing the narrative about your body and identifying new ways to see yourself is helpful. 

As I shopped with the couple, the wife mentioned she was a tomboy growing up and dressed in practical clothes. I wanted her new wardrobe to match her personality. She was vibrant and outgoing. Her husband fell in love all over again when she stepped out of the dressing room with a bright shirt tucked into her pants. They were flirting like newlyweds, which was beautiful to see.

3. No One’s Looking

Nobody is watching you. I had to remind the couple of this. People notice how you feel about yourself in an outfit. Don’t get caught up in what people look at or think about your body. Don’t let your insecurities stop you.

This isn’t to say that how we feel about something doesn’t count because it definitely does! If a piece of clothing feels too tight or doesn’t lay right on your body, you will be fidgeting and thinking about it the whole time you have it on. But there is something to remember when shopping or trying on clothes. It’s not for other people; it’s for you.

I want you to walk into a room, feel lit up, and share your gifts with the world. Dressing in a way that feels good and makes you confident can change all parts of your life.

What do you do to feel more confident in your outfits? Let me know in the comments!

Looking for more styling tips? Be sure to follow me on Instagram @thecloset.edit and TikTok @theclosetedit!

tannya bernadette
Founder of TCE Tannya Bernadette
  1. Kathy says:

    I love that you address the fact that men have insecurities too. We all deserve to feel amazing when we walk out the door. If it doesn’t make YOU go, “Wow! I look fantastic in this…” then that’s the vibe you give off. Change the story, find the outfit and rock it!

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