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The moment you start to question yourself is the moment you know change is coming. After finding something in your closet that doesn’t feel right, there’s no stopping your mind from going back. You’ll begin to get curious. You’ll ask yourself what’s wrong with your wardrobe and how can you can fix it. You’ll notice at different points in your life that as you evolve and grow, your style will too. I’ve been through it myself time and time again.
When I work with a new client, I want to understand what triggered the need to rediscover their style. Why did they reach out for styling assistance or start searching for pieces that fit well? What happened in their life to trigger a fresh look on their style and wardrobe?
If you’re currently in the midst of a life transition, you might find yourself trying on clothes in your closet and not feeling like any of it works for you. You might feel like you literally have nothing to wear even though your closet is full of clothes you once loved.
Maybe you’ve even gone out shopping, hoping to create this new style on your own, but can’t help but feel like something isn’t quite right. No matter where you may be in the closet/life transition phase, having an outside perspective is helpful because another person can see the parts of you that you can’t see yourself. In the process of shopping and finding your style, you may even learn new things about yourself and what’s important to you.
There are many reasons why you might be feeling like your style needs a refresh but the most common are separation/divorce, getting back into the dating pool, weight loss/ weight gain, becoming a mom, celebrating a new decade, or a career change
This is a time of finding who you are apart from the relationship. Sometimes you feel like you stopped taking care of how you looked because you didn’t have time. This can happen because you have kids or because you put your partner’s needs before your own. You might find that when you were in a relationship, you slowly started to turn into a different person. This isn’t something you see when you’re in the middle of it. It takes stepping out of the relationship to see that maybe you were making decisions that weren’t exactly aligned with your needs.
This is how getting out of a relationship can affect your style:
- MOVING AWAY FROM CONSERVATIVE CLOTHING
I have some clients realize they were dressing more conservatively because they felt uncomfortable showing their body. They didn’t want to be attractive to other people or court attention because their partner was jealous or possessive.
- SHOPPING FOR YOURSELF
I also have clients who relied on their partner to shop for them. That means they never had to find what they actually liked or how they wanted to dress, they grew used to wearing whatever their partner purchased for them.
- DRESSING FOR NEW ACTIVITIES
Personal growth is inevitable after separation. Once you start rediscovering yourself after a relationship, you are bound to learn more about the parts of yourself you didn’t have time to develop or be curious about while you were in a relationship. Finding out what you like as an individual affects how you spend your time and how you dress.
In the process of returning to the dating pool, you want to feel absolutely confident. You’re meeting new and attractive people for the first time. You’ll also be in new settings that can sometimes feel a little uncomfortable and out of your regular zone. The pieces you were wearing before might be part of your past when you weren’t looking for a relationship. Maybe you haven’t taken the time to invest in what you’re wearing, and now that you’re setting up dates, you’re finding that the clothes you wear don’t feel good. You feel like you need clothing that makes you feel your best and puts you at ease.
How Dating Again affects your style:
- FINDING THE SEXY SIDE OF YOU
The number one reason you need to refresh your look is because you need to find your sexy side. The part of you that feels attractive. I’m talking about clothing that fits your body in the right places, colors that bring out your eyes or make you feel like you’ll be seen. Finding what sexy means to you can mean trying something edgy, flirty, low-cut, fitted, or even colorful. Sexy is different for every individual.
- GOING OUT AGAIN INSTEAD OF BEING AT HOME
A big factor when dating again is that sometimes in-between leaving a relationship and dating someone new, you tend to hangout more with friends, visit family, or even spend time at home. Once you do date again, you’ll be planning activities from home and while also juggling what you’re going to wear out. Loungewear won’t cut it at a local bar or dinner joint. It’s not about what your date will think. It’s really about how you’ll feel wearing loungewear out to meet someone new. If you arrive for your rendezvous in half of your pajamas, are you showing you care for the other person?
- FINDING YOUR CONFIDENCE
Wearing an old tee from high school or wearing a work shirt will not make you feel confident on your first or even your second date. Those pieces are attached to other parts of your life and other parts of you. You need clothing that makes you feel your best and shows the parts of your personality you want to emphasize. That could be put together, fun, successful, funny, romantic, or whatever else you want to reflect with what you’re wearing.
It’s uncomfortable to gain weight and see yourself differently, especially when it involves the process of seeing your clothes fitting differently. It’s even more uncomfortable wearing clothes that feel too tight or can’t zip all the way. These ill-fitting pieces can become a daily reminder that you and your body have been through changes. Even in the middle of feeling like you want to lose weight, it’s important to find a few outfits that fit your current size.
How gaining weight affects your style:
- LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE NOW
You might feel like you can’t go to Hawaii, wear a cute swimsuit, or buy nice pieces until you lose weight. But there’s no reason for putting your life on hold! Getting to a place of accepting where you are right now and embracing the body you have will help you feel less guilty. Taking care of yourself in the middle of this change will help your mental wellbeing.
- BUYING A FEW NEW PIECES OR COMPLETE OUTFITS
If you’re putting in the effort to lose weight, buy yourself a few new pieces as you transition so you have clothing that feels good to wear. If you aren’t actively doing anything to lose the weight, that’s totally fine too. I suggest getting a few new head-to-toe outfits that fit well and make you feel your best. You’ll notice a big difference in your energy as you see yourself in the mirror in clothing that fits. You’ll feel better putting on something that isn’t a struggle to wear.
- FINDING CLOTHES THAT FIT YOUR STYLE
When you change size, you lose your style. You don’t know what cuts or brands work best for you anymore. Sometimes you start to see yourself as a new person, and that’s ok to acknowledge. Be kind to yourself and don’t settle for styles that don’t feel good.
- DON’T BUY “TEMPORARY” CLOTHING
The worst thing you can do is live in an indefinite mindset. Spending less and buying cheap clothing just to fill your closet won’t help you fulfill the need to buy pieces that truly make you feel your best. Don’t put your personal style to one side in order to fill your closet with unnecessary, “temporary” pieces.
Becoming a Mom
Nothing is more life-changing than being pregnant, having a baby, then getting back into life with your little one. Becoming a mom is a whole other stage in life that takes extreme care and insight. Everyone goes through a different journey when it comes to finding who they are as an individual and as a mom. You’ll notice at different stages of your baby’s growth, your style will also change as you start to ease back into your normal schedule, sleep more, and adapt to your new life.
How becoming a mom affects your style:
- CLOTHING THAT FITS YOUR NEW LIFESTYLE
With a baby, you’ll think differently about what you wear around the house. You’ll want extra soft and comfortable pieces. You’ll need more clothing for walks and any activities you do with your baby. Make sure to keep this in mind as you get excited to budget money for new clothes.
- EASY TO WASH
Babies make messes. Toddlers make messes. When you’re not working out or with friends, you’ll want clothing that can take spaghetti, macaroni, and spit up. Leave the dry clean items for work and after breastfeeding.
- FITS YOUR NEW BODY
You may have gained weight or found that where you carry your weight has shifted. You just went through the most beautiful moment in your life. Celebrate your body and what it can do. Be kind to yourself as you shop and try on new clothes.
- PIECES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL PUT TOGETHER
You’ll need easy outfits for days you’re in a hurry and have to drop off the kids, run errands, and go to work. Life often becomes so busy that you won’t have time to think up outfits. Have photo inspiration in your closet, leave your outfit hanging for the next morning – anything to help you feel like you’ve got this!
Celebrating a New Decade
What better time to evaluate your personal style than reaching a new decade? Wardrobe revamps have become a popular gift for clients turning 30, 40, 50, and even 60. As you go through different stages in your life, your style will change, your body will change, and where you live will change. All of this affects your style. Hitting a new decade is the perfect time to take a look at where you are today and where you’re heading in the future.
How it affects your style:
- CLOTHING THAT FITS WHO YOU ARE NOW
Make sure to create a style statement of how you want to feel in your clothing and what kind of clothing will help you feel that way. This will help you make decisions on what to keep in your closet and what to let go of. Your style statement will also help you decide what to take home from the store and what to leave behind. It’s important to be very aware of the style you’re going for in order to break old fashion habits.
Moving from one position to another, moving to another workplace, or even changing industries can be stressful. You want to fit the part yet feel like yourself as you step into a new space. It’s important to consider your industry, the overall brand of the business, and your own sense of style and comfort.
How a career change affects your style:
- TAKING YOUR STYLE UP A NOTCH
It’s always better to look more put together than not. When you feel like your pieces fit well and match, you have one less thing to worry about. Refresh your workwear with new pieces that take your style up a notch. Add a great-fitting jacket, nice shoes, or a shirt that lights you up.
- FINDING PIECES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL POWERFUL
You want to feel a sense of confidence in what you do. Find pieces that instantly make you feel your best. Look for items that make you feel more sharp, smart, and competent -like you really know your stuff.
- A MIX OF CLOTHING THAT MATCHES YOUR INDUSTRY AND REFLECTS YOU
If you work in tech, maybe wearing a suit to work everyday won’t cut it. I never want you to feel like you have to dress like everyone else, but you might not feel comfortable dressing up to that extreme when your co-workers show up in jeans. Keep your work environment in mind as you shop. Instead of a suit, consider wearing a nice sport coat with jeans while keeping your shirts ironed. Mix up your look so you can reflect your personal style while still staying in sync with the work environment.
Now it’s your turn!
I want you to take a look at where you’re at in your life right now. Have you gone through any transitions recently, whether that be physically, emotionally, or even spiritually? How have those changes shifted your style now? What do you need to refresh in your wardrobe to align your style with where you are in your life? These questions will get you started on your path to discover what’s missing from your wardrobe and how you can fill the gaps.
As your stylist, I’m always here to help. CLICK HERE to set-up your free discovery call.
We’ll talk about what you’ve been struggling with when it comes to style and go through solutions to help you bring your look together.
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